Jenny’s book continues to cause strife; tension builds between Bette and Jodi; Iraq flashbacks haunt Alice's girlfriend Tasha; and Tina breaks it off with Henry to come back into the fold. Visit http://www.sho.com/site/lword for more information.

College Try
With all of her sexual prowess, Papi still couldn’t convert Kit - proving once again that even when they’re sleeping with other women, straight girls are still straight.

Fashion Plate
Bette, looking strangely weird and wonderful in an Eleanor Roosevelt getup, begins to realize that she can’t always get what she wants when Jodi leaves for New York.

Watch It
Alice bought Tasha a timepiece, which reminded her of a friend who died in Iraq. Realizing that Tasha has been called back to the war, Alice is reminded of losing Dana.

Groove
Tina ditched Henry and is walking back into the light. Kate Arden is hot on her trail despite Jenny’s madcap attempts to get her herself, but Tina still has feelings for Bette. Despite myself, I want Bette and Tina to end up together, if only to see Bette whip her around once again.

Child Protective Services
Should be called on Paige for bringing her son to lesbo dance night at the Planet where drugs and drinks were flowing freely, and then ignoring him while she made out with Shane the entire night.

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Tina goes on a date; Bette’s type A personality shines; Kit continues her downward spiral; Helena loses big at the track and Max loses his mother. Visit http://www.sho.com/site/lword for more information.

Dinner Delight
Bette is a pro at planning uncomfortable dinner parties. How could we forget her “searching-for-a-baby-daddy dinner” or “my-father-died-so-let’s-drink soirée”?

Money Mama
Helena’s lucky streak came to an end when she lost her bounty at the horse track. Now if only she could lose the dominatrix…

Convert
Tina’s about to do a reverse Anne Heche and ditch her guy for Jenny’s gorgeous female director. I give her a 9.8 for technical difficulty.

Man Up
Max went home to morn the loss of his mother yet can’t understand why his family is mourning the loss of Moira.

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Alice and her friends console Phyllis's heartbroken husband; Bette wrestles with her feelings for Jodi; Marina drops in on Jenny and Shane says goodbye to her brother. Visit http://www.sho.com/site/lword for more information.

Song and Dance
Marina and her dance troupe put a musical routine together for Jenny’s film project. You gotta hand it to Marina; she always seems to know how to get under Jenny’s skin – if not in her pants. She must sit and connive for days on end.

Friends and Neighbors
Alice got lucky. There’s nothing like a bed full of friends to help you explain to your ex-lovers husband the theory of lesbianism.

Karma
Bette was sick with rage and jealousy when she saw Jodi with another woman. I was waiting for the angry sex scene like the time Tina found out about Bette and Candice, but no such luck. This is a calmer more genteel time on The L Word.

No Good Deed
Shane let Shay go with their father to avoid a court battle because drug addicted, maladjusted lesbians hardly ever win custody cases.

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Tina feels pangs of regret; Alice gets closer to Tasha; Helena continues her winning streak; Shane gets an unwelcome visitor and Papi takes care of Kit. Visit http://www.sho.com/site/lword for more information.

Old Habits
Tina and Bette were sharing a moment until Jodi walked in and began communicating with Angelica. I think the baby was signing something about killing Jenny.

Payback
Things were looking up for Shane until her dad showed up and pulled the rug out from under her. Carmen must be at home poking a voodoo doll.

Feisty
Fighting about the war has become foreplay for Alice and Tasha.

Hooker
Helena’s love of cold, hard cash is turning her into a prostitute. Not that I mind.

Slippery Slope
Kit freaked out on Angus and left The Planet with Papi for a night of drinking and wild abandon. She is going to wake up with more than a headache.

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Helena struggles to pay back her poker debt; Tasha takes Alice flying; Bette and Jody get serious and Kit learns the truth about Angus. Visit http://www.sho.com/site/lword for more information.

Outlandish
Bette and Jody (in matching wife-beaters) had a night of passion so wild it caused Bette to lapse into Stepford wife mode and profess her potential love.

Distasteful
Tina spilled the beans about Angus to Kit and morphed into a slimy producer to get the rights to Jenny’s short story.

Apologetic
Alice visited Tasha at the Army base to explain that her romp in the Limo with Papi was meaningless.

Intoxicating
Helena indulged in a game of strip rummy to pay off her gambling debt. Millions of lesbians around the world would put themselves into hock to watch her disrobe again.

Sermonizing
Shay was teased at school because of Shane’s sexuality, so Shane and Paige played show-and-tell with the class.

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Bette embarks on a new romance; Alice and Tasha get closer; Shane celebrates the success of her underwear campaign; Jenny gets caught in a lie and Helena learns to play poker. Visit http://www.sho.com/site/lword for more information.

Slogan
“You’re looking very Shane today” translates to “You look like a starving 12 year-old boy in desperate need of calcium, antibiotics and Vitamin C.”

Stressed
In the midst of an emotional breakdown, Bette revealed a softer side to Jodi. I’m not sure how far this relationship will go since Jodi hates kids as much as I hate Tina.

Love-struck
Alice took an elbow to the eye, which brought her closer to Tasha.

Maximum Capacity
Jenny ate another slice of crazy pie and got caught at her game with Stacy and the Vet. I’ve had about all I can take of her mystifying insanity.

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Alice breaks up with Phyllis; Tina discovers that Angus is cheating on Kit; Shane has a playdate and Jenny publishes a short story about the girls. Visit http://www.sho.com/site/lword for more information.

Maniacal Behavior
Jenny published an unflattering article about her friends in the New Yorker, and had a dog put to sleep to gain the sympathy of the vet. Obviously her therapist needs to be fired.

Impenetrable Ice Queen
The heat between Bette and the artist is beginning to melt Bette’s tough girl façade, although her coldness toward Tina is always enjoyable.

Tasty
Helena’s new job as a sexy caterer is going well. Let’s hope a naked cooking show is on the horizon.

Comic Relief
After breaking up with Phyllis, hitting on a hottie and yelling at Jenny, Alice is back on top.

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Bette meets a fiery artist; Alice and Phyllis heat things up; Papi challenges the girls to a basketball game and Shane makes a new friend. Log onto http://www.sho.com/site/lword/home.do for more details.

Numinous
Although Bette is god-like, she shouldn’t act so mighty. Hell hath no fury like a student scorned.

Unadulterated Pleasure
Alice slept with Phyllis. I’m not sure if it’s because she actually likes her or if she simply enjoys annoying Bette. Either way, it’s hilarious.

Animalistic
Jenny went cuckoo again. This time she adopted a dog riddled with cancer in order to meet a Vet (who happens to be the lover of the girl who gave her a bad book review).

Bourgeois vs. Butch
Papi and her gang of goons challenged the girls to a basketball game. And not since season one’s madcap adventure where the ladies tested Lara’s gayness was I so amused. With Alice screaming, Jenny sipping latte and Tina being ousted; with digs like Papi calling Bette a “brown Barbie doll” and Shane calling Papi “dad” it was hard not to enjoy.

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This week on The L Word, Bette crosses the line with a teaching assistant, Alice takes Phyllis out on a date; Jenny broods over her bad book review; Tina throws a party and Helena tries to find a job. Log onto http://www.sho.com/site/lword/home.do for more details.

Bad Luck
Shay was dumped with his promiscuous drug abusing sister, Angus lost both a baby and a record deal, and Helena fell from CEO to secretary. Someone in West Hollywood is wearing the Brady Bunch Hawaiian voodoo necklace.

Juxtaposition
Tina threw a party to introduce her old lesbian friends to her new homophobic ones.

Signals
Alice took Bette’s boss out on a date to irk her, because lesbians love to eat their own.

Academia
Bette gave new meaning the term teacher’s pet. I guess we can never underestimate the power of a sexy, blonde TA.

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Bette deals with her new job; Jenny gets a bad review; Max dates the boss’s daughter; Tina fires Helena; Shane searches for her brother and Alice finds Papi. Log onto http://www.sho.com/site/lword/home.do for more details.

Teach Her
Bette is reestablishing California University as a leader in Fine Arts, and herself as an Alpha-lesbian.

Twisted Forrest
Tina is stuck in the far reaches of hetro-ville and is clawing her way through friends.

Duplicitous Methods
Jenny’s interviewer used them to get her to open up, and Eileen Chaiken employed them to make us think we’d see more of Marina.

Daddy
Not only is Alice sharing her apartment with Helena, but she’s also sharing Papi… and probably a few STDs.

Little Boy Lost
That would be Shane, not Shay.

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Bette and Tina hash out a custody agreement; Shane spirals out of control; Helena deals with poverty; Kit gets accosted by a religious freak; Jenny’s book gets published and Marina returns. Log onto http://www.sho.com/site/lword/home.do for more details.

Shameless
You have to hand it to Ilene Chaiken. In addition to strategic product placement, she’s using her soapbox to tout a newly created website whorish lesbians can use to keep track of their conquests.

Senseless
Shane is soothing her guilt with Cherie Jaffe and a mound of cocaine. Maybe now that she has a sibling to support she’ll try to become more of a role model.

Snap
According to Bette, Tina is not qualified to raise a biracial child; even one that’s unequivocally and irrevocably hers. She also claimed that Tina was unqualified to live and sleep with her for the last 8 years - a statement with which I think we can all agree.

So Amazing
Marina revisited the place she faced her darkest demons at the precise moment Jenny was about to launch her book. And instead of inquiring about Marina’s well being, (since Marina's suicide attempt was kind of her fault) Jenny presented her with the creepy French girl like a prideful cat with a dead bird.

Self-Centered
Jenny ditched Max because he identifies as a straight man, and she identifies as a lesbian. (Really!) Her audacity is astounding. No matter what her book reviews state, Jenny’s childhood sexual abuse and adult self-mutilation did little to convince me that Post Traumatic Stress symptoms can sometimes double as an analgesic, an aphrodisiac, a party drug or a seduction style manual.

Sexy
Now that Helena has to earn her keep, she’s decided to room with Alice.

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Before the seizure-inducing theme song and Jenny’s mental decline; before Bette and Tina were on the fringe of disaster and Dana was still breathing; when Marina was strong and Shane had a decent haircut, this show had substance. No doubt there will still be plenty of eye candy when Season 4 premiers on January 7th, but will the storylines leave us jonesing for more or praying for the Pepto? Only time will tell.

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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. L is for landslide. As in, the nosedive this show has taken since we were first introduced to group of strong, funny, witty L.A. lesbians.

It’s no secret that this show has been on a downhill tumble since season 2 left us without Marina. It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that ridding a show of a main character with a wide fan-base is a disaster. Why do you think Paula Abdul is still slurring her way through American Idol?

Oh but don’t worry. When season 4 airs in 2007, we’ll get Jenny’s (Mia Kirshner) new friend Claude (Elodie Bouchez). You know, the creepy French girl with the Cabernet-stained smile and Marlboro breath. What a treat.

Marlee Matlin is slated to join the cast as a fiery artist who catches Bette’s (Jennifer Beals) attention. Marlee’s deaf ladies, not blind. Who wouldn’t jump at the chance to make out with Jen?

Cybill Shepherd is also hopping aboard the Bette train. She ’ll play a married mother - and president of the college where Bette attends graduate school - who suddenly begins to question her sexuality.

In more casting news, Janina Gavankar (Barbershop, Barbershop 2) will play a hot Latino who challenges and competes with Shane. Why they didn’t keep the first hot Latino, Carmen, (Sarah Shahi) is beyond me.

These are great actresses. But no matter how well they’ve mastered their craft, they’re only as good as the storyline. And if past episodes are any indication, they’ll be winning no Emmy’s in the future.

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Marina
Before Jenny needed psychiatric intervention; before the suicidal, maniacal lesbian trend; before the crazy characters and ridiculous storylines, there was Marina (Karina Lombard). Thankfully The L Word producers are trying to stop their train from careening over a cliff by brining her back for season 4. Watch this YouTube video, and experience the magic of season 1 for yourself. 

The L Word

I hate to say I told you so… but I did. Click here to get a glimpse of the lucious ladies on board for season 4 of The L Word.